Where I am right now......

Now firstly, let me say that this blog isn't going to be to everyone's reading taste!

I've always been very open & very honest & my experience is probably going to be very different from the next person who has been diagnosed with this disease.
I'm quite a positive person & I'm strong - all 5ft 1" of me will fight back every time! Throw what you like at me, I'll get through it!

So I can only say that if you're following this then these are just my viewpoints - you can always (b)log off if you don't agree with me or, if you don't like what I have to say!!

Ok peeps, so, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 1st Feb this year & it's true what they say, it's a real 'rollercoaster' from day of diagnosis onwards!
This Monday, 7th March, I had a mastectomy to my right breast. I was allowed home on Thursday with a drain hanging from the middle of my chest; I've been carrying it around in a little blue washbag (like a little handbag!), up until today when my lovely friend Kirsty - who also happens to be one of the local district nurses - came to remove it.
I'm looking forward to a decent sleep tonight for the first time in nearly a week! Hospitals are not very restful places!


So as I said, a real rollercoaster ride. The medical team at the hospital have been fantastic, even though I feel that 5 weeks (actually it was 4 weeks & 6 days!) from date of diagnosis to actual operation was pretty fast moving, they've told me that seeing as I'm so young (hee hee, loving it!), they're 'taking their time' with me so that I have time to digest all of the information & so that I can make decisions regarding my future.
Soooo many questions.
Do I want more children? Do I want reconstruction? Who will look after me when I'm recuperating? What will I do about work? Where will I have my treatment? What about the financial implications? & so on & on & on.......

I've got to say, I'm lucky. I've got my parents living close by, my boss has been AMAZING & I have got the most fantastic friends here in Wales. Not to mention my fab friends in Liverpool who are never off the 'phone & just waiting for me to give the nod so that they can come & visit!

I'm not angry that I was diagnosed with cancer. I did have a bit of a meltdown at first & took a bit of time off work to 'get my head around' things but, the main feelings it has stirred up are feelings of annoyance! I'm annoyed that it's delayed my plans to go 'home' to Liverpool.
I've been through a lot in the past 3 years & I just wanted a fresh start for me & my daughter.
It's annoyed me that it's going to affect the quality time that I have with her. The only consolation is that although I'm going to have at least 6 months of feeling pretty sh*t, when it's all over I'll have the rest of my life with her.

Cos I'm not sitting here thinking I'm going to die! That did cross my mind for a milli-second but look at how many other people have been diagnosed & lived through it.

My main concerns so far - & shallow as they might seem - have been how the treatment is going to affect how I look.

Chemotherapy is inevitable due to my age (ahh, my young-ness!); I'll find out next Thursday when this is going to start.
I've already spoken to my hairdresser about how we're going to tackle this & I'll be booking an appointment with my dentist very soon too.

I suppose the upside to all of this is that I'll be saving a small fortune each month on cutting/colouring/tinting & waxing etc! Not to mention hours spent blowdrying, primping & preening! It'll be wig on & go!!!

Anyway, I'm not the most technically gifted person in the world, it's taken me all day to get this far with this blog!
& I'm tired now & the painkillers are starting to kick in. I can understand why people get addicted to codeine!

So until next time, 'nos da' everyone, love Chez. xx