It's blatantly obvious from my depressing posts of late, that I felt shit last week & have done so for a while &, I'd be lying if I said I felt bloody brilliant now! However, I do feel a bit better! (She says, knowing full well that she's had a Zoladex injection today; ssshhh! If we ignore it, the side effects may not hit as hard this month.......I live in hope).
Following on from last Thursdays post, my Gorgeous Friend & I apologised to each other so I'm feeling a whole lot better about that situation. At least I've made peace & we're sort of friends again.....not close friends like before but hey, that just serves me right for being a psychopathic bitch really, doesn't it?
Anyway, that's that. I can't say any more about it really except that I've learned a lesson or two & I've also discovered a few things about myself & about what I want & what I don't want......
Moving swiftly on from that then!!
This week I'm gearing up to go to Liverpool on Friday & I can't wait to get there! Woohoo! *does a little dance!*
It's my daughter's 4th birthday while we're away so we're throwing a "Hello Kitty" party for her.
I say 'we' but that's not strictly true! My fab sister & my fab friend Nicola, have organised everything & pretty much all I've got to do is turn up there with the Diva Child - yes, it's her new name & it says it all really - they've taken all of the stress away from me & I am so, so grateful for everything! Laiken is gonna love it & it's her day; she's been through some awful things with me in the past three years, she's been a little star & it's her that has kept me going.
In my darkest moments - & there have been a few - it's the thought of Laiken that has pulled me through & made me want to 'carry on'. At times like those, nothing or no-one else enters my head......only Laiken.
Anyway, she's already packed our case, it's full of crap but I'm gonna wait til Thursday evening before taking out all of her dolls/books/kareoke machine (yes!)/teddy bears etc etc so that at least we'll have clothes to wear when we get there! Doing it before Thursday seems a pretty pointless exercise really cos she will only fill the bloody thing again.
So, the party!! Once the kids have had their party, we're gonna stay at the venue for drinks & between my sister & I, we've invited loads of old friends, ex-colleagues, people we haven't seen for years & all of our family. My parents & I are only staying in Liverpool for a few days, there's no way I'd get to see everybody that I want to see in such a short time scale so it kinda made sense to invite people that I feel have supported me. There have been so many, it seemed a sensible thing to do!
And it's looking like it's gonna be a fab reunion! I'm excited!! I haven't been 'home' since early December last year! I am soooo looking forward to it!
Liverpool is my first holiday this year. I say first cos I'm definitely gonna have a few more! I'm off work for six months now (my present to myself after working my arse off for all of my life!) &, I intend to 'get out & about'.
Hence the title of this evenings blog post: Here Comes The Sun!! (Just in case you were wondering where the title came from).
For me, it feels like the sun is only just coming out again. My summer starts here.
I've been on such a rollercoaster ride, I don't think I've known my arse from my elbow for much of the past seven months!
I've sat back & watched everybody getting on with their lives whilst I've been having this treatment & it has done my head in!!
Especially now that everybody's buggering off on holidays!
And this morning, whilst half listening to the radio in the car, I heard the song, 'Here comes the sun' by The Beatles!
You know what? Hearing that song put me in a really good mood! I turned up the volume! And the Liverpool/Beatles connection thingy, well! What can I say? The song's been in my head all day so, I'm adding the You Tube link for it to today's blog so, if I get pissed off through this next week, I can replay it & recapture the feeling that 'today has been a pretty good day, I'm feeling pretty positive & I'm going on my 'holidays'!!' (Feel free to have a listen too though - the words are so apt for me at the moment!)
Actually, instead of The Beatles version, I'm going with fellow Cancer survivor, Sheryl Crow's version - it's also the version that my 4 year old knows best too - cos it's from one of her favourite films, Bee Movie!
I've got to go, I'm shattered this evening, I've been shopping the past two days & I've joined the gym again too. It's been a long time since I've exercised but I know exactly what I'm like; after the initial pain (I'm expecting to be very stiff for a while actually!), I'll love exercising like I did before I had my daughter; it'll be my new addiction! I want my six pack back, I want to be able to run for miles again & I want to be glowing with health. Don't want much really......!
So I'm going! Don't forget to listen to the song!
Love Chez. xx