Ok, this time last week I was signing consent forms so that samples of my cancerous tumour could be sent to the US for testing. The results should - in theory - allow me to make informed choices about the rest of my treatment.
Since then, I’ve been trying to find something humorous to ‘blog’ about but, it’s been hard going. This has been my worst week since diagnosis to be honest.
All this waiting does your head in &, in the meantime, I feel completely exposed to cancer, as if I have no protection against it coming back. It feels like everything has come to a standstill treatment wise. It has been pointed out to me that surgery is a major part of the treatment; they’re confident they’ve removed all of the disease & it was only 3 weeks ago! So why does it feel like nothing’s happening now?
After feeling as if I’ve been living on the inside of a tornado for the past 8 weeks, I’ve been told to go home, rest & try to get back to ‘normal’.
Normal?! Are you f*cking kidding me?!
No, I’m sorry, it’s just not that easy &, for those of you who are following this blog, I apologise but, you’re gonna have to take the rough with the smooth & realise that I can’t be ‘brave’ & ‘inspirational’ all the time. I just can’t live up to that this week.