My last post was on 6th March.....soooo much has happened since I last blogged! And it's pretty much ALL good! (I'd just like to add here that I think we can safely say the anti depressants are starting to kick in!!)
On 7th March I reached a huge milestone - well, it was huge for me - I reached one year 'N.E.D' (no evidence of disease). I was diagnosed on 1st February 2011 but to me, the afternoon of 7th March 2012 (the one year anniversary of my mastectomy), was the day that I could truly say that "There has been no evidence of cancer in my body for a whole year."
Now I say this & obviously I'm really, really happy to be saying it at all but, the parting words from my Consultant last month were: "Obviously we can't guarantee that there aren't any tiny, microscopic rogue cancer cells floating around your body waiting to develop into secondaries, but the indications are good on the whole.....we'll see you again in six months time."
Hmm. Well, that's about the best guarantee you're gonna get when it comes to bloody cancer so I think the only thing I can do is to live my life as if I'm never going to have to go through anything like this again......& hope for the best.
Anyway, like I said, the anti depressants are starting to kick in, I'm off the dreaded Zoladex now (for the next few months at least) & I've started a new exercise regime with a personal trainer.....I can honestly say that I am LOVING my life right now!
Since the end of February, so many great things have happened, we had a party for my sister's engagement; we had a surprise party for my mum (it was her 60th last year but we didn't celebrate very much as she was looking after me & my little girl after my mastectomy); I'd been blogging for a year on 12th March & my total page views hit 35,000 on that day; I've also written two blog posts for Breast Cancer Care's first ever advertising campaign which you can read here (this one is about how bad hot flushes can be when you're having anti-hormone treatment for Breast Cancer), & the other one - which is about having to make fertility decisions after a cancer diagnosis & before you start treatment - you can read here.
So I've been crazy busy!! I've spent time with some fabulous friends during these past six weeks, I really have had the time of my life recently!!
My best friend from Wales (Dawnie - who keeps promising to write a guest blog but has yet to do so!!), came up to Liverpool & it was brilliant to show her around my city. I was in South Wales for nearly nine years, so much has changed while I've been away so it was great for me to re-discover places that I hadn't been to for a long time.
Another friend came up from London, he was actually working here for two weeks but it was so lovely to see him & to spend some time with him, I've had a few lunch dates with other friends that I haven't seen in ages, it was great to catch up with them & there are a few people that I still need to see. I've made more new friends in Liverpool since coming back here in September 2011, (in fact, there are two women in particular who I'd say are amongst my best friends now) &, I've just had a brilliant weekend......I'm really enjoying myself at the moment, in fact, life couldn't really be much better.
Anyway, I wanted to put a post on this evening because I wanted to share a photograph with you. It's a photo of my daughter & I taken at the beginning of March, by Dawnie, at the Pier Head Ferry terminal in Liverpool. People who are friends with me on Facebook or who follow me on Twitter (@ChezKerr31) may have already seen it but it's quite poignant in that, when I first diagnosed, I really didn't know what was going to happen to me. It was a scary time & I just didn't want to have to leave my daughter behind......should the worst happen.
During the past few weeks, it's like a fog has been lifted, I'm ashamed to say that during the months of depression, I don't think I actually 'saw' my daughter properly. (But then I don't think I was 'seeing' much of anything if the truth be known!) She was here with me every day, we've never spent much time apart but I just wasn't appreciating how amazing she is. She's such a happy little girl, she's really funny & clever & has a fantastic, bubbly personality, sometimes - lately - it's like I'm seeing her for the first time. She makes me laugh so much, I can't believe this beautiful little person belongs to me & how I've sort of missed her development over the past year. But, it's never too late! I won't get that time back but I can sure as hell make sure I don't miss out again!
When I was diagnosed, all I ever wanted, more than anything, was to stay with my little girl.
Well, we're one year on & back home where we belong.
I still love South Wales, I'll always have a connection there, I'll always make sure my daughter knows where she was born, I'm even trying to keep a bit of Welsh language going at home! I have lots of fantastic friends there & I'm planning a trip down there in July but coming 'home' was definitely the right thing for us to do.
I can honestly say that I'm the happiest I've been for a long time. I haven't been this happy since Laiken was born in 2007......but by 2008 my whole world had literally imploded. (But that's old news so we won't go back there, not right now anyway.)
Yes, it's partly the anti-depressants taking effect & partly because I'm not having Zoladex anymore. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had any 'down' days because I have & I still have further to go before I reach my 'new normal'; but the 'downs' haven't been as bad.....they're more like little dips now......& I finally feel like the 'Old Chez' is on her way back.
For a lot of you, it's going to be the first time you've met me! I really do mean that too!
Right, I'm going to stop babbling now, I've got loads to say(!) & I've got a guest post coming up soon from another new but lovely, blogging friend, Sarah Horton who I've had the absolute pleasure of meeting but, for the moment, this is enough for tonight. I won't stay away so long next time.
So, the photo of me & my beautiful, amazing mini-me......I'm soooo glad to still be here for her & I'm so glad my eyes have finally 're-opened' cos I just don't ever want to miss anything ever again, she's my World.
Love Chez. xx
|Me & Beautiful, Amazing Mini-Me, Laiken Jade ♥ xx|