Now, I have some crap news which I want to get out of the way first. I apologise in advance to my male readers cos there aren't many men that I know who are comfortable hearing/reading about gynaecological problems (sorry guys!) but, it's something that I'm having to deal with right now & for me personally, it's all connected to my breast cancer medication so it's got to have a mention here today.
Basically, I've been having irregular bleeding since last August, when this happens, I have an excruciatingly painful, sciatica type pain from the waist downwards through both legs which is worse at night & wakes me up & yesterday, after a scan at The Women's Hospital in Liverpool, I found out that the lining of my womb is thicker than it should be for someone who's taking Tamoxifen.
I'm not a Doctor & don't want to get into this too much but for those that don't know, Tamoxifen kinda blocks the oestrogen to the breast; one of my cancers' was sort of feeding off this female hormone so it makes sense to supress the oestrogen in my body, which is why I'm supposed to be on Tamoxifen for another 3 to 4 years.
However. Tamoxifen can over stimulate the oestrogen in the womb & increase your risk of endometrial cancer. The thickening of the lining of my womb, together with irregular bleeding & other symptoms I have, could be signs of early endometrial cancer (but then it could be something else so let's not forget that!) so, in about 2 weeks time, I'll be having a general anaesthetic whilst the gynae team take a biopsy/sample from me & then send it off to find out what the fuck is going on!
To say that I am pissed off is mild. It's the waiting game again. It's the uncertainty & it's the upheaval & inconvenience that this is causing already. Yesterday, after giving my mum this news, I was pretty upset, as was she. My dad was pretty stunned too & asked me if I thought I should've had the chemo (after my mastectomy in March 2011), when I 'had the chance'.
I told him no at the time & I've been thinking about this question & I still think 'no'. I don't think I should have had chemo back then, I think I made the right decision for me at the time based upon the medical facts that were presented to me at the time.
This is a different cancer anyway.....I don't know if chemo would have stopped this from happening? Like I said, I'm not a doctor so on that note, I'm gonna try & wrap this up now!
Yes, its worrying, there's definitely something not right but I can't get too far ahead of myself, let's find out what's happening first.
It could just be that Tamoxifen is causing all of this activity & it's a case of adjusting my medication? This would almost certainly be the horrible Zoladex injections again, or I can try something else, probably further surgery? And then more endocrine treatment?....who the fuck am I to say?!
The Consultant that I saw yesterday feels that - in my case - the Tamoxifen is not working as effectively as it should be. I'm not due to have my annual review with my breast cancer team until August but the gynae Consultant is writing to them to request that I'm seen ASAP. In the meantime, she's ordered the biopsy so they can examine the cells to see if they are cancerous or pre-cancerous.
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| I'm joking! Honestly! |
There are other women out there (some that I've spoken to today as it happens), who have experienced similar symptoms & not all of them have developed endometrial cancer. I've got to just get on with everything in the meantime. Life goes on! With or without you standing around like a fart in a trance worrying about something that there clearly isn't enough information about yet - life WILL go on!
Which leads me rather nicely into my good news! (And I'll try & be quick now cos I'm running a bubble bath right now that I can't wait to get into!)
Firstly, I had the most beautiful Christmas & New Years Eve! It was quiet, relaxed & very family orientated but I did get time to see other, special people in my life! Close friends, people who mean a lot to me & between them, they actually made it, one of the best Christmas' I've ever had. It was lovely & I'm very lucky to have such amazing people around me. They know who they are ;)
In other news, I moved into my new house 2 days (yes, TWO freaking days!!) before Christmas (nightmare!) but, Laiken & I have settled in nicely! It still needs a lot of decorating but we'll get there!
I'm starting my new job on Monday so I'm excited about that!
I've had my measurements taken for my 'maid of honour' dress for my sisters wedding &, BIG NEWS(!!), we've decided where we're going on her hen weekend! I can't wait!!!
So, like I said, I've got a bath running, I need to relax!
I've got so much going on! If I'm really honest, I'm really tired all of the time & have been for a while but at least now I know it's because my body is working harder in certain areas!
Anyway! I haven't been diagnosed with anything so far!
YES they are specifically doing a biopsy for abnormal cells & have prepared me for it. I'm having my pre-op this Friday & will be in surgery within the next couple of weeks, I'm having a mammogram next Wednesday too but there's no way on this earth I'm gonna let this get me down! I've been here before but I know how to handle it this time! Sitting worrying about it is definitely NOT the way forward!
I really don't want anyone feeling sorry for me! It's further tests & I need to know the results before I start panicking! I'm thankful for the lovely messages & calls that I've had so far from my UH-MAZING family & friends today & yesterday.....I love ya's all & you're all fabulous!
Which is how I'm gonna look on Monday when I start my new job! Fabulous!
We call our house 'The Princess Pad'. As long as Laiken & I look & feel like princesses, we're fine! See? I've got soooo much to keep me occupied! I'm from Liverpool remember? A 'Scouse Bird' through & through! I can't wait to get dressed up for work every day again!
I've kinda spent the past 12 months permanently in my gym clothes! It'll be nice to get out of them but I'm still gonna be seeing my Personal
Life - most definitely - does go on!
I'll keep ya's posted as always!
Love Chez. xx
Chez, this has zippo, zilch and nadda to do with the fact that you did not have chemo. I did and Tamoxifen has done broadly the same to my womb too. Because I'm older and had chemo my ovaries are pretty well shot, but I had Tamoxifen induced enodmetrial hyperplasia and a polyp, thankfully benign. All I can say is that after the hysteroscopy I started to feel much better physically, and the constant low grade pain went away. Hope the same is true for you. There, now that really is TMI for any blokes reading this :-)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new home, and really hope mammo goes well and comes back clear.
Really feel for you hun, but I won't feel sorry for you, like you requested. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty and openness - I'm pretty sure you've been an inspiration to other young women in a similar situation, throughout your posts on here.
Keeping everything crossed for you, that you get the positive (negative!) results you need!
Good luck with the job - I don't know how you do it all, honestly!
Lorra love, Gill xx